A valuable lesson

The labour started slow and easy and thats how she took it .... slow and easy. When she called me to say she was having mild discomfort for the whole day, I wasn't in the most receptive moods. Yes, we doulas can have a bad day. I think I said lets see through the night if it picks up. All I wanted was the day to end. When I woke the next morning, she was my first thought. I waited for a decent hour (could not wait beyond 7:30 am) before sending her a message.

She was definetely in labour and it was slow and easy all night. We talked when the hour got more decent at about 9, she was heading for the hospital. This time I suggested if it was early she should go back home. Less than two hours later I got another call from the father to be letting me know that she was going to be in the hospital. I knew I was in this birth from that first waking moment. I wanted to be there.

As I reached the hospital she was 5 cms, active labour, back ache and sleepy....

Before I knew it I had her striding a high back chair resting her head, with a hot water bottle at her back and getting her to eat something. We were going to have a baby.

For me time stops at births, so the minutes, hours cease to matter. Many a sips of water, and deep breaths, trips to the bathroom, arm and back rub downs later.... one contraction, the sound of that breath changed. A nurse said dont make any sounds and the mom was moaning and bearing down. And all I could think was ...the bags are intact.

I know that was I felt at that time was completely different from what the parents felt, I also know what I felt at the time was just as powerful as what the new parents felt. I hope I was able to bring something more to their birth as their birth brought to my life.

I learnt a very valuable lesson as I walked out of this birth:

Your faith is tested at many points in life and it is that very faith that takes you through each of those tests.

Whats the Scene!

J was in my childbirth class. When I saw her smile the first time I thought that she packed a big punch in a small packet. For her labour started and stopped at its own pace building gently. When I saw her the morning of birth she was all set for the hard work. She wanted to try water to see if it would help her. We had talked of labour, and possibilities and I think she had an open mind. She was in and out of the tub many times, she ate and drank, walked and moved. At one point she put her hand really low on her belly and I asked her jokingly what she was doing.

"मैं देख रही हूँ की scene क्या है !?!"

Her sense of humour was her strength. The labour stayed strong ... however for may reason which is her story to tell, she was looking at a C sec after 18 hours of labour. We gave them a little privacy to talk about it. Her mom was there for support as well. I knew there was a sense of disappointment and helplessness but what was so amazing about this little mom was her response. She said that she had experienced labour and now it looked the baby was saying its time to be born.
Despite the hard work put in, and the disappointment J was going to give birth to her baby. I was wonderful the moment of her baby's birth was still joyful for her. As I stood beside the couple, I could see them connect as many new parents do when they hear their bay cry for the first time.
As I took the baby to her right after they brought her to the room... the baby latched on. Maybe that what made the birth more real to her.

This birth, her sense of humour and positivity are driving force for me to to keep going on my path। Also this experience would not be complete without acknowledging the fact that the father laboured just as much as the mom and was with her bit of the way. The new parents shared their news with friends and family as........."Hi! we have been blessed with a bouncing baby girl last evening, all of 3.4 kg; had a C section after 24 hours of labour in both land and water !"

Doula !?!

A lot of times when people ask me what I do,....I am a childbirth educator and a doula. Equal number of people scoff at the childbirth educator bit (more about that later) as the say a dou...what!
A DOULA
The word doula comes from Greece and refers to a woman of service.
A doula accompanies a woman in labor to provide physical, emotional, and educational support for a more satisfying birth experience. She does not perform clinical tasks such as fetal heart rate monitoring, nor does she make medical diagnoses. A doula will helps the labouring woman make decisions by providing information and support, but will not make decisions for her.

Studies have found that birth companions, of which doulas are one type, offer numerous benefits both to the mother and child. Women with support have a reduction in the duration of labor, less use of pain relief medications, lower rates of operative vaginal delivery, and in many studies a reduction in caesarian deliveries. Newborns in supported births have lower rates of fetal distress and fewer are admitted to neonatal intensive care units. In addition, one study found that 6 weeks after delivery, a greater proportion of doula-supported women, compared to a control group, were breastfeeding, and these women reported greater self-esteem, less depression, and a higher regard for their babies and their ability to care for them. These results are similar to findings that support from a female relative during childbirth has similar effects.
One study found doula support without childbirth classes to be more helpful than childbirth classes alone, as measured by levels of emotional distress and self-esteem evaluated at an interview 4 months after birth. In particular, it was noted that women in the doula-supported group reported their infants as less fussy than the group attending childbirth class without any doula support.

CNN did a neat story on doulas.
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/08/06/hm.doulas/index.html
I am a doula, its an honour to be a woman of service and part of birth